10 Reasons WHY you should always live like a College KID. Lessons from a Billionaire.

Mark Cuban was born in 1958, to Jewish working-class parents. He built and sold multiple businesses, before did his baddest deal, broadcast.com.

Sold to Yahoo! in 1999. FOR $5.7 BILLION.

He then cashed out before the dot com crash. Today, he is worth $3 Billion.

LISTEN now.

Read his book, How to Win.

He owns Dallas Maverics. He is described by Forbes as the ‘loudmouth‘ owner.

Because he still behaves like a College Kid. A rich College Kid. With his own $40 Million Jet.

THIS is why YOU should too…

1. Options.

College Kids don’t own houses. Neither expensive cars. Large LCDs. Big leather sofas. On EMIs.

Housing investment returned 0.4% from 1890 to 2004 in the United States. Usually, it is 300-400% of your total investment portfolio. With a 30 year commitment. You get stuck. It never sells when you need the money.

Keep cash.

Cash, that you can better use. To upskill. To start projects that mean something to you.

Take a Gap Year. Travel. Live anywhere in the world.

Don’t buy EMIs. Have options.

2. Be Creative.

College students are creative. They make the best of every possible resource.

Don’t have a mattress? Use Yoga Mats.

Don’t have utensils? Reuse take-out containers.

Don’t have big speakers? Use cardboard boxes.

Don’t have money? Walk. Go to the beach. Crash a party. Eat at a Hare Krishna temple.

ABC. Always Be Creative. Create ways to live life fully. With whatever you have available at the time.

Life is tough. Have fun anyway.

3. Experiences over Things.

I had a friend once. He made a windfall $15,000.

He called all his friends. Put all the money on the bar. Got free drinks for everyone. Until the money ran out.

We all got drunk.

It was one of the most memorable experiences. For all of us. Some life long friendships were made that day.

Amit Kumar, Matthew Killingsworth and Thomas Gilovich observed that experiential purchases provide more enduring happiness than material purchases.

Like watching a live game. Going for a holiday with friends. Having an adventure.

Every bad experience is a good story.

4. Honest relationships.

Some of the best friendships are formed in College. Because you don’t give a fruit.

Friendships based on late night conversations. Over a tequila bottle. At your worst.

You could hang out. Without doing anything.

Don’t base your friendships on money. What car she drives. Where she lives. Those friendships are meaningless.

Though it may get you some good rides. And free parties. Maybe one such friend would be nice.

Other times, be simple. Uncomplicated. Free.

Have ego. A big one. But know when to drop it.

“Being honest might not get you a lot of friends, but it will always get you the right ones.”

– John Lennon

They will be the friends that always stand by you. The only ones you need.

“I was thrown out of college for cheating on a metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the girl next to me.”

– Woody Allen

And yes, be cheeky. Its fun.

5. Discover yourself.

College is the time to explore. Learn new things. Try Salsa. Take swimming lessons. Join the Chocolate Appreciation club.

Meet new people. Judge. Because that’s your design. But then drop it. Move on.

Take a day off. Mid-week. Go watch a movie. Alone. Or go to the Museum. Or that Art Show. Learn a new skill.

The discovery must never end. The most important question is ‘WHY?’ And then ‘HOW?’

Meditate to know yourself. Create new possibilities.

Its okay to be lost. And begin again.

6. Be Selfish.

In college, you have no family to worry about. No responsibility. For the most part, you are selfish. And that’s a good thing.

Take care of your own needs. Be self focused. Not obsessed. But focused.

Being unselfish creates resentment. Frustration. Misery.

Melissa Deuter, Clinical Assistant Professor of Psychiatry at the University of Texas Health Science Center at San Antonio, says,

“Selfish people tend to take better care of themselves instead of giving too much energy away serving the needs of everyone else.”

You will be healthier. Happier. And you will have better relationships.

Look after your needs first.

Include yourself in your list of important people.

7. Collaborate.

From assignments to exams. From the Car to the Kitchen. And dating.

College kids collaborate on everything.

Our hunting ancestors survived only because they collaborated.

Collaboration lost its significance with the industrial age. It took on a new meaning. Everything was put in processes. And FAQs. The problems were the same. People were trained to be machines.

But today, the large corporations are disintegrating. The only ones that survive are agile. Flexible. Adaptable. They are made of small, highly efficient project teams. Always redefining rules.

Knowledge is power. The environment is highly subjective. There are no manuals. Every problem is a new problem.

You need a variety of experiences to tackle every situation. You need speed. Different perspectives.

Continually upskill.

Collaboration is a necessity.

8. Dream

In college you built ideas. Pursued fascination with passion. Created business plans. Believed you could win over the world.

Then you got bogged down by logic.

Be bold again. Dream freely. Pursue your dreams with gusto.

“Have courage. Open your heart, and listen to what your dreams tell you. Follow those dreams…”

– Paolo Coelho

This is not a practice life. This is your only life.

9. Laugh

College kids laugh 300 times a day. And working adults, 20 times. It may be heresay. But you get the point.

Laughing makes you feel good. And it is so important that you do it even if you have to force it. Try Laughter Yoga.

Laughter has many benefits. It lowers blood pressure. Reduces hormone levels. Improves cardiac health. Triggers endorphins.

You will sleep better. Be more creative. Have better relationships.

Watch this now. Have a laugh.

10. Cut the Crap.

Be short. Be real.

There’s no 10th point. Fuck it.

10 Things I Learnt from ‘The TOLTECS’ about Life

I got introduced to TOLTEC wisdom by Don Miguel Ruiz in the book The Four Agreements.

TOLTECs originated from ancient Mexico about 2,000 years ago. They were a society of artists and spiritual seekers. They learnt a great deal about human nature. And reality.

The Toltec wisdom gives hope. A hope to live a dream. The dream of being free. Of being yourself. Of full expression.

This life is a Dream. It is your creation. It is your perception of reality. A reality you can change. Anytime.

THIS is what I Learnt from the Toltecs about life…

1. Reality is a manifestation.

At the fifth Solvay Conference in October 1927, Niels Bohr told Albert Einstien, “Einstien, stop telling God what to do.”

Although Bohr’s comment was in good humor, it begs inquest.

“Reality, what a concept!”

– Robin Williams

Reality is defined. It is a concept. Defined by our collective modern intellect. To help make things work. To produce the cars. The buildings. The things.

The education system was built to train our mind to universally accept the modern manifested reality. The ads influenced belief. They hooked our attention. Repetition of information became reality.

We didn’t even choose our own name!

It is possible to change the parts that do not appeal to you. Accept what you like. Reject everything else. And create your own reality.

“We depend on our words… Our task is to communicate experience and ideas to others. The word ‘reality’ is also a word, a word which we must learn to use correctly.”

– Niels Bohr, Philosophy of Science Vol. 37 (1934)

It is not the sun that creates light. It is the light that creates the sun.

2. The Reward.

We are just trying to get attention. Love. Respect. By pleasing others. By fitting in.

We were given the truths. As they were when we were born.

Our Religion.

Our Language.

How to Behave.

What is Right. What is Wrong.

What is acceptable. What is not.

What is beautiful. What is Ugly.

We agreed. We gave in. We surrendered to those truths.

Don Miguel Ruiz calls this process, ‘The Domestication of Humans.’

The reward feels good. We keep doing it till we get the reward.

But sometimes, it leads us to become someone we are not. Because we forgot to question.

3. THIS. Is a dream.

girl-dream

How do we know THIS is not heaven? How do we know THIS is not a dream?

You can dream with the brain awake. And when it is asleep.

The only difference is that when the brain is awake, we perceive things in a linear way. There is a material frame. When we sleep, we do not have that frame.

THIS. Is the dream of the planet. Including all of society’s rules. Beliefs. Laws. Traditions. Religions. Cultures.

Focus only on that you want to perceive.

Choose your dream(s) wisely.

4. Challenge Yourself.

Our beliefs may be wrong. Our views may be wrong. Our perceptions may be wrong.

But we hold on to them dearly. They make us feel safe.

It takes a great deal of courage to challenge your own beliefs.

But it must be done. To grow. To advance. To be better. In you own way. To be happier. To be more successful. For an accelerated learning experience.

Engage in a way that is not safe and comfortable. Take up something that you don’t know you can complete.

Get comfortable with challenging yourself. Get comfortable with pain.

You will rediscover yourself.

5. Punish yourself Once.

Human Beings have a powerful memory.

We make a mistake. We judge ourselves. We find ourselves guilty. We punish ourselves.

Every time we remember, we judge ourselves again. We find ourselves guilty again. We punish ourselves again. And again. And again.

Justice is paying once for each mistake. That is enough.

The Human is the only animal that pays again and again. For the same mistake.

6. Mitote – There is Fog.

We are blind. We can’t find the truth. We keep searching.

The truth is already within us. But we cannot see. There is fog. Or as Toltecs call it, Mitote. The whole mind is a fog.

Our mind is a dream. Where a thousand people talk at the same time. And nobody can understand the others.

Death is not the biggest fear we have. It is life. To be alive. And express who we are. Being ourselves, is our biggest fear.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.”

Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love

Everything you believe about yourself. The world. All concepts and ideals you have in your mind. All are mitote.

And it is because of that fog, that you make assumptions. You misinterpret everything. And everyone.

Your mind is clouded. It needs to clear.

7. Agreements.

There are thousands of Agreements you make. With your parents. With society. With your spouse. With the kids.

But the most important Agreements are the ones you make with yourself.

In these Agreements, you tell yourself who you are. What you feel. What you believe. The result is – your personality.

To be at peace, you need to have to courage to break those Agreements.

Claim back your personal power.

8. Be Impeccable with Your Word.

Your word is a gift. From the core. It is the reason for our intellect. It is the source of creation.

What you dream. What you feel. Who you are. Everything starts from a word. It can create. Or it can destroy.

Impeccable means, without sin. Sin means going against yourself. When you are impeccable, you take responsibility for your actions. Being impeccable with your word means not using the word against yourself.

Don Miguel says, during Domestication, your parents, siblings, society created your beliefs. They shaped who you are. And often that was not who you were. Society wanted you to be like everybody else.

But you are unique. We all are. We need to express those differences. And create our own identify. Our own personality.

Don’t let the mitote poison your mind. Use your word to define you. The way you want.

9. Suffering is optional.

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

– Viktor Frankl

Humans are addicted to suffering. At different levels. To different degrees. We help each other suffer.

Other’s opinions make us suffer. Not because there is any truth in that. But only, and only, because we agree with those opinions.

The suffering does not come from what other people say. But from what we say to ourselves about what other people say. Suffering is not in the act of others. But in our own response to it.

Don’t take things personally. Choose not to suffer.

“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”

– Anonymous

10. Be You.

You have the right to be You. Freedom will be in expressing yourself fully. There is no one to lead. No one to follow.

Do your best. In every circumstance. No more. No less.

The best will change. When you are happy, from when you are unhappy. When you are tired, from when you are energised. When you are healthy, from when you are sick.

But that does not matter. When you do your best, you will not judge yourself. And when you don’t judge yourself, you will be free from guilt. Shame. Blame.

When you do your best, you will take action. You will accept yourself. You will live fully.

Live in the possibility. The possibility of YOU.


“We can reach heaven while we are alive; we don’t have to wait until we die.”

– Don Miguel RuizThe Four Agreements

Image courtesy pixabay.com

10 new ways to create ANY Habit you want in 30 Days. And keep it Forever.

A habit is a routine or action that is repeated regularly. And occurs unconsciously.

“A habit….is a fixed way of thinking, willing, or feeling acquired through previous repetition of a mental experience.”

American Journal of Psychology (1903)

We are constantly forming habits. New habits. Changing old ones. Either consciously or unconsciously.

Mostly such habit formations are without any conscious influence.

We can control that. And there is lots of research on habit formations. But for you and me, its all bullshit. It never works. For more than a few days.

Luckily, SJ Scott has put out some simple ideas to help us average folks. In his book Wake Up Successful.

THIS is how you can create ANY Habit you want in 30 days…

1. Identify your routine.

For 1 week, document what you do in the day. From waking up. To leaving home. Till the time you sleep.

Don’t change anything. Just take a small notebook. Write down what you did in every 60 minute interval.

Also document what time you slept. And what you did an hour before you slept.

Your day starts the night before. And it is key to changing any habit.

2. Information Management System.

These are big words. I’ve been to Business School. Usually big words mean nothing.

Its simply the method by which you record things. So you need 2 things –

a) Note taking toolEvernote is one of the best and most widely used note taking apps. You can also use One Note. Both these tools sync with your mobile device and laptop.

Use this tool to write everything. Journaling. Ideas. Blog posts. Schedules.

EVERYTHING. In one place.

b) Capture tool – I use the voice recorder on my phone. To record any ideas or to do’s. Even bits of information. And at the end of the day, put all that info in your note taking tool. It only takes 1 minute.

Just voice record ideas during the day. Or some quote you may have read to help you in your new habit. The phone number of the new coach. The new app someone suggested.

The note taking and capture tools you use have to be with you ALL the time. Throw out all other papers.

3. Carve out the Habit Hour.

“Successful people are simply those with successful habits.”

Brian Tracy

Carve out 1 hour out of your normal routine. Either early morning. Or late night. But ensure you are undisturbed at that time.

This is a private date. Nobody is allowed.

You will be tempted to do more. Achieve more. After the first few days.

Don’t. Stick to just 1 hour. No more. No less.

4. Identify your activity.

Identify a goal that can best improve your life right now.

You can do yoga. Play a sport. Go for a run. Read. Meditate. Paint. Write. Learn a new skill.

Or maybe simply just getting up one hour early. That’s a good enough goal.

Just stick to the one activity. Not three. Not two. Only ONE.

There will be days you will have time left over. But still, just stick to one.

5. Shop.

If you’re going for a run, get a new set of running clothes.

If you’re doing yoga, get a new yoga mat.

If you’re going to write, get a new pad. Or laptop case.

Generate an intent. Make a big deal of it.

Create a new experience. Make it exciting.

6. Sleep.

You have to feel excited. Fresh. And energised.

Target sleeping for 9 hours a night. Or maybe a bit more than you usually do. It will be much easier to build your Habit muscle if you have had good sleep.

And you will be more focused.

7. Plan for obstacles.

Plan for interruptions. Your child gets up early. The Dog needs your attention. Or you boss is being a prick.

You will need to plan ahead. Assume things will go wrong. Leave a little wiggle room.

And when there is a break, don’t stop. Resume the next day. Or that evening.

Its okay to start over.

8. Create Accountability.

Find an accountability partner. Enroll someone to do the new habit with you. Someone who has the ability to call your bluff. And motivate you. A person you trust.

Or if you’re an introvert like me, post it on Facebook. Or Twitter. And train your mind to think as having made the commitment to the world.

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.”

– Aristotle

9. Keep a Journal

entrepreneur-write

Write a summary in your daily Journal. Every night. 10 minutes before bed. This is non-negotiable. And is key to forming a sustainable habit.

Document what worked that day. What didn’t. What got left out. And the plan for making it up the following day. Better strategy. Start afresh.

Write 3 things that you are grateful for. People that helped you.

Put down your rants. Complain. Take it out of your system. To start anew tomorrow.

10. Make it easy.

If you want to create a new habit of going for a run in the morning, take out your running clothes at night. Keep your shoes where you can see them. Prep your drink. And energy bars on the Breakfast table.

This makes it easier to follow. And acts as a visual reminder. It makes it difficult to break.

The day you don’t go for that run, you will see the clothes lying unused. The shoes by the bed. The uneaten energy bars on the Breakfast counter. And that visual will nag you all day.

Make it easy. And make it count.


Start small. Make it easy. Once you complete your 30 days, you will internalize the habit.

Then clear out the Habit hour, and add a new one.

“Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.”

– Mahatma Gandhi

Image courtesy pixabay.com

10 Tips on how you can find your Passion

Passion is over rated. Much deliberated. A hotly debated abstraction.

Its a mystifying concept. Incomprehensible. Elusive.

But Passion is at the core of who we are. Passion is the source. And unless you are connected to your source, there will be something missing. You will feel empty.

“Follow your passion, be prepared to work hard and sacrifice, and, above all, don’t let anyone limit your dreams.”

– Donovan Balley

“THIS is certainly NOT what I’m supposed to do.”

“This does NOT feel like me.”

These are statements that I said to myself over and over again.

So, I asked the one who knows everything.

GOOGLE. 5.8 billion results. One thing was established. I was not the only one.

But I didn’t have the gazillion hours to go over the results. I had to find something that was easier to understand.

I found the wisest 3 guys. They had a lot to say about how to figure out your life.

If these guys were chain restaurants –

a) BARRETT would be TGI Friday’s – because you can never have too much flair.

b) CORBETT would be Applebees – everybody knows him & everybody is comfortable hanging out.

c) CHASE would be Texas Roadhouse – because everybody needs a Yeee Hawww… Every now and again.

THIS is their wisdom –

1. Explore.

You get pigeon-holed into a narrow corner. Because you specialized in School.

Read. Travel. Take a gap year. Talk to different people. Do different kinds of work.

Experiences add up. They help you make informed choices. They open up your eyes to new possibilities.

You’ll also figure out what you can’t do.

“If you do something that has never been done you will collect treasures that have never been found.”

– Jenna Newton

2. It will change.

Your desires will change. Ideas will change. Your passion(s) will change. And that’s okay.

What you know about what you want, will change. Because you will learn new things. You will have new experiences. You will continually discover new views of the world.

Keep correcting course. Change your passions. As per the new found ideas. Experiences. Insights.

3. Wait.

Be patient. Your journey is a long vision. Of a few short cycles.

Don’t think your Today’s vision will drive everything you will ever do. Just like life, passion is impermanent.

Look at finding new ways to add value. To other people’s lives. Solve new problems. Acquire new skills.

Do the small projects. Life is a long-term game.

4. New paths.

Your skills today may not satisfy your current vision. Don’t be afraid to abandon your today. And start afresh.

The future will call upon all your skills. Learning always adds.

Eventually, you will find THE problem worth solving. Eventually, you WILL find your purpose.

5. Build a small thing.

Build something. Write 10 posts. Do a #30daychallenge. Write an ebook. Paint 5 portraits.

Don’t worry about making it perfect. Or doing your best. Just do enough to get it out the door.

Focus on something small. Finish it.

6. Its always Grey.

Don’t bother about planning. Too much thinking. Or perfection. That you are either a 1 or a 10.

Think of a continuum. 7, sometimes, is good enough. And that maybe, is better than the 10.

You never feel in Black & White. You will find yourself in the Grey.

warrior-illustration

7. Get Help.

You can’t do it alone. Each one is better than anybody else. At something.

Create a team. Connect. Seek people that are unlike you.

The unexpected will happen. What you never thought before.

The world is hungry to be united. Accomplish greater things together.

“You can’t succeed coming to the potluck with only a fork.”

– Dave Liniger

8. Be discontent. And feel good.

Create something new. Do something you haven’t done before. And be happy if is not perfect.

Say its good enough.

But preserve the tension. Of being dissatisfied. Enough to do more. To keep creating.

“Discontent is the first necessity of progress.”

– Thomas. A. Edison

Its just part of the deal. It will never go away.

9. Everything is a compromise.

Its never going to come out the way you had it in your head. You will fail. You will get bored. You will get frustrated. It will be painful.

But you’ll be okay. Better than you were before.

Create adventure in your life. Strive to make it fun.

Be present in the moment. Experience it fully.

Every single moment will be a compromise. Magic will still happen.

10. Live your fucking life.

Don’t put everything on hold. When you have no idea what to do next. When you get stuck.

Don’t drive yourself up a wall. The whole point of living is not to find that ONE damn thing that will create magic.

Its your life. Its an experience. Live it. Something will come along.

Don’t miss out on these best years of your life.

“I finally figured out the only reason to be alive is to enjoy it.”

– Rita Mae Brown

Image courtesy pixabay.com

10 Tips To Be a Great Dad

“Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don’t know one child with a full time job and children.”

– Bill Hicks

Receiving unconditional love from another Human, is the greatest privilege. Kids are as close to God as you can get.

They are pure. They are uncorrupted. They look at life the way it is. They are brutally honest. They love fully.

It is tough being a Dad. But it can be hugely rewarding. And it is a lot of fun. If done right.

Some experts disagree, though.

“Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail.”

– Homer Simpson (One week after marriage)

I’ve been a Dad for 5 years. I’ve had many debates. Read a lot. Learnt a lot. By doing.

These are my “TOP 10 TIPS TO BE A GREAT DAD”

1. Stop going to the Church. Or Temple.

God is real. Or an illusion. Or just you. The way you see it.

But the attributes of God resemble a Kid.

Honesty. Integrity. Being straight. Helpful. Caring. Unconditional Love. Respect. Sensitive. Pure. Mystery. Jealousy. Simplicity..

Kids have all the qualities that you attempt to find in God. And prayer.

Be wholly and completely with your Kid. Be fully present. The power of pure love is what you seek.

2. Work

Work to be a Dad.

Schedule time to be with your child. No matter how busy you are.Be with them when they need you.

Brush their teeth. Bathe them. Wash their poo. Drop them to school. Be involved in their mundane daily activities.

Do the fun things too. But don’t ONLY do the fun things. That’s what Uncles do. Dad’s are supposed to be there, always.

When you work hard to be with them, it will show. They will know you care.

3. Don’t be a liar.

We’re so used to lying.

I know you’re a great guy. But you ARE a ‘Liar.’

Its easy to tell you kids you’re going for some work. Or a meeting. When you go for a movie. Or a night out. Or a party.

But that erodes the trust. That confuses them. Makes them disconnected. First with you. Then with themselves.

Tell them you want to go for a movie. Take permission. The first time it will be difficult. Be with them when they say No. Explain to them that you really want to go. Its okay to want to have fun. To take a break.

Tell them you will be back. Maybe they just want reassurance.

And sometimes, don’t go when they don’t want you to.

But then they will accept it.

4. Smile

Don’t complain in front of your kids. Don’t complain ever if you can.

Smile. Be happy. Say nice things. Enjoy life.

Your kids will not learn from the books. They learn by watching you. They are a direct result of who you are being.

Always greet your kids with a smile. They have been waiting for you all day.

5. Treat your Kid as Equal

Respect your kid’s opinions. Respect their judgements. Ask them what they think.

Don’t ignore their view. Don’t mock them. They need respect as much as you do.

Talk to them about what you like. And dislike. Include them in your conversations with others.

Don’t give orders. Simply communicate. Be polite.

Preserve their dignity. And yours.

6. Admit your mistakes

Everyone makes mistakes. Don’t pretend you don’t. In front of your kids.

Let them feel it is okay to do wrong. Allow them to be Human. Let them make mistakes.

Shouting will only lead to rebellion. Not discipline.

Discipline does not come from preaching. It will come from being disciplined yourself.

You don’t need to be their Hero. You just need to love them. Wholly.

“Marge, don’t discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel.”

– Homer Simpson

7. Never break a promise

boy-near streamOnly make promises that you can keep.

If you can’t come home on time, say so. If you cannot go to the park this afternoon, don’t promise. Or if you can’t buy that toy, tell them.

Don’t disappoint them. Don’t teach them mistrust. Treat them as important.

And if you have made a promise, do EVERYTHING to keep it. They will remember. They will learn. What you do. And what you don’t.

Your child looks up to you for the truth. For integrity. For values. Till you prove to them otherwise.

And always hold them to their promises.

“Live so that when your children think of fairness, caring, and integrity, they think of you.”

– H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

8. Don’t overpraise

You must praise your Child. Recognize if they do something well. Encourage them. Congratulate them when they come first.

Praising builds confidence. A sense of self-worth. Self-esteem.

“It is easier to build strong children, than to repair broken men.”

– Frederick Douglass

But be straight other times. Its okay to lose. Its okay to come last. Its okay to not do well.

Sometimes you do well. Sometimes you don’t.

Don’t give praise that will not hold up in a real life situation.

9. Don’t buy them Toys

Children don’t need toys. Especially not the noisy ones. Not video games. Not ipads. Or iphones.

Buy them basic blocks. Lego. Let them play with broken toys. Let them create their own games.

Just leave them alone. Observe.

With fewer toys, kids become more creative. More resourceful. They learn to be careful. To persevere.

10. Love yourself

Be good to yourself. Take care of yourself.

Eat healthy. Exercise. Go for movies. And dinners. Occasionally. Read a book.

Be good to the Mom. Treat her well. Get her flowers. Kiss her.

Your kids are watching you. They will learn to love themselves. And love the people around them.

They will learn to appreciate. And value.

“Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself. They came through you but not from you and though they are with you yet they belong not to you.”

– Khalil Gibran

Image courtesy pixabay.com

10 Quick Tips to be Happy

“Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence.”

Aristotle

Sitting at her desk, Gretchen Rubin, had an epiphany. “I don’t want a crisis to remake my life,” she thought. She spent the next 12 months learning to be Happy.

These are the “10 QUICK TIPS” from her book, The Happiness Project

1. Good over Perfect

Perfections takes too long. Its usually never.

Perfection isn’t expected. The customer will not pay for perfect. In the knowledge economy, time is most valuable.

Relax. Good is good enough.

2. The six second hug

Huggers are happier people. They feel more connected. It is an act of giving like no other. Of love. Of care.

Six seconds is the minimum time required to promote the flow of oxytocin and serotonin. They promote bonding. Oxytocin is called the ‘love hormone’. These chemicals are known to permanently alter nerve pathways. And control moods. Express affection.

Say I love you, more. Greet with a hug.

3. Write

Write everyday. Maybe for 30 minutes. We’re all writers. Thinkers.

Writing helps in organizing thoughts. It helps to clear out the old. And make way for the new. It helps to reflect and evaluate.

Writing develops ideas. You will have the urge to execute on some of them. And solve problems.

Maybe you develop a new skill.

4. Toss. Organize. Fix.

Throw out everything you haven’t used in six months. Clothes. Shoes. Pens. Candles. Mats.

Create two columns on an A-3 sheet. Write a list of things in your house that are not exactly the way you want them to be. In the next column, write down how you want them to be.

Start fixing.

5. Start a collection

Collect coins. Stamps. Souvenirs from where you travel. Shot glasses.

Its fun. Its a conversation starter. They make you reminisce of a nostalgic moment.

6. One minute rule

Do not postpone anything that can be done in one minute.

Put away the socks. Keep the ice cream in the freezer. Reply to that message. Give a quick call.

It wipes out a lot of the day’s worry.

7. Sleep early

There are many studies to show different findings on sleep cycles. But one thing is common, we’re not sleeping enough.

Sleep deprivation impairs memory. Weakens the immune system. Slows metabolism. Fosters weight gain.

Chronic sleep loss can cause heart problems. High blood pressure. Strokes.

Listen your body. Try to sleep when you feel tired.

Learn to get up without an alarm.

8. Be Silly

Be non-serious. Be frivolous. Act foolish. Buy something stupid.

Wear bright make-up. Put on bright socks. Laugh loud. Do the dares. Paint your face. Walk a silly walk.

Stop taking yourself this seriously. Just this once.

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“If people never did silly things. Nothing intelligent would ever get done.”

– Ludwig Wittgenstein

9. Give up

Give up nagging. Give up lazing. Give up coffee. Give up packaged food.

Give up something you’ve always been wanting to. For yourself. For someone else.

For a week. Or a month. Or even a day.

10. Be Grateful

Keep a gratitude journal. Write down 3 things you are grateful for today.

Consider people you are grateful for. Your house. The food on the table. About a situation. Your abilities.

Remind yourself of all that has worked. And that works. There is a lot to be happy about.

“Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.”

– Eckhart Tolle

10 Things I Learnt about Creativity. From Robert Greene.

It is a blessing to be born Human. According to latest studies, if you can read this, you are Human.

Somewhere around 2 million years ago, the Human brain tripled in size. The size of our brains is double of what is expected of Mammals of the same size. And one of the profound abilities we developed, was to create abstract ideas. And images. And concepts.

We can visualize what is not. We make constant connections. Sometimes in seemingly unrelated concepts. We can compare. We can associate.

THIS is what I learnt about Creativity. From the book Mastery. By Robert Greene

1. You were born creative

Observe a baby.

They explore. They create connections that seem absurd. Like a blue grass. Or a green Sun.

They love to draw. They love to learn. They ask lots of questions. Stupid questions. They love to sing. They love to dance.

I will make a bet. You were a baby too. And you were incredibly fluid. And open.

“The human brain is a naturally creative instrument. It is designed for making connections between ideas.”

As you grew older, you learnt to create your own life. You learnt to manage people around you. You adapted to survive.

But maybe, you forgot something. Along the way.

2. The odds are against you

You were put in a school. Expected to wear the same clothes. Stand in a line. Read the same books. Follow rules.

You were taught to follow a well-drawn path. To ensure your ‘success’. Pre-defined for you. Before you were born. To get a pre-paid pass to happiness. Pre-defined for you.

You were told not to experiment. Failure is bad. And you were reminded of your mistakes all the time. By your parents. By your Teachers. By your friends.

You had to be constantly busy. You needed to fit in.

No matter what you did, you were judged.

“No one is really going to help you or give you direction. In fact, the odds are against you.”

3. Search wider

Creativity is to search wider. To imagine more. To create possibility. To allow your mind to wander in the expanse of the imagination.

To continually define what is real. And what is not. Then change. Redefine.

To be creative, a great deal of knowledge is required. Diverse experience. Knowledge that is stored and organized in long term memory.

And then make unique linkages. Associate what has not been associated before.

“The future belongs to those who learn more skills.”

5. Negative Capability

John Keats, in 1817, observed that high level creativity greatly depended on the Individual’s ability to cultivate Negative Capability. The ability to be in the question. Without the desire or anxiety to rush to conclusions. Being in the uncertainties, mysteries and doubts.

Creativity involves being open to contrasting thoughts.

This eventually leads to wider perspectives. In the same context. Embracing uncertainty and chaos. And then exploring and synthesizing the differences. To incorporate new styles. Ideas. Paradigms. And beliefs.

“The mind must be able to feel doubt and uncertainty for as long as possible. As it remains in this state and probes deeply into the mysteries of the universe, ideas will come that are more dimensional and real than if we had jumped to conclusions and formed judgments early on.”

6. Be an outsider

Some of the most important discoveries come from people who are trained in a different field. Bringing a much different way of thinking. Less steeped in conventions. The reason why companies hire Consultants.

Train to think like an outsider. Take advantage of your training in unrelated fields.

Ask a different set of questions.

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7. Active Imagination

Creativity requires incredible leaps. Used consciously to reach practical results. This is different from dreaming. It is conscious use of the varied ideas.

Give it a free range. Consider every possibility imaginable.

“Just imagine for a day that you do not know anything, that what you believe could be completely false. Let go of your preconceptions and even your most cherished beliefs. Experiment. Force yourself to hold the opposite opinion or see the world through your enemy’s eyes. Listen to the people around you with more attentiveness. See everything as a source for education—even the most banal encounters. Imagine that the world is still full of mystery.”

Then test. Verify. Confirm. The best possibilities of them all. Get feedback.

Imagine more possibilities. Create a higher and better form. Go over and over again. Till you have something most imaginable and practical.

8. Subvert patterns of thinking

Our minds fall in patterns. And grooves. That become deep and inflexible with time.

“The problem is that we humans are deep conformists.”

Reexamine those patterns. Focus on what does not fit in the patterns. Focus on the structure. And process. Instead of the end product. Look at anomalies that cannot be assimilated.

Create new paths. New paradigms.

9. Art & Science

Creativity is a combination of uncertainty and logic. Of the question and the answer. And the question from the answer.

The separation between Art and Science happened some 500 years ago. Science is the evolution of the Art. They both come from the same source.

“Major scientific revolutions have usually coincided with major artistic periods.”

– Piero Scaruffi

Question the separation. Question the answers. Question the questions.

“Understand: we live in the world of a sad separation that began some five hundred years ago when art and science split apart.”

10. Ultimate Synthesis

Creativity may be the ultimate synthesis. Of the Child. And the Adult. In all of us.

Be in play. Open up the mind. Wander. Explore. Create connections. Even if absurd.

Incorporate the playful exploratory spirit of the Child into the disciplined experienced work. Fuse the two together into a whole.

Image courtesy nextshark.com